It is said that out of every one-thousand women married in the United States, almost seventeen of them will get divorced. Even though this seems like a low number, researchers say that there is a divorce in America every thirteen seconds. Unfaithfulness is one of the most common reasons for divorce. In my personal experience with this subject, fighting and lack of the communication was the reason for the separation of my parents. Conflict, alcoholism, problems with money, or simply just growing apart from each other are more common reasons that people say they got divorced.
Being so young when my parents separated, people often assume the effect impacted my life nominally. But, that assumption is far from the truth. At a young age, I watched my parents fall out of love with each other, and that changed my view of marriage and relationships. It had such an emotional barrier in my life that I had to start going to counseling at age seven. It is common for children with divorced parents to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief according to Very Well Family. A majority of these children get better with time and acceptance. But for me personally, I still struggle with parts of it. The thought of what if it was my fault never really left my mind. The anxiety and depression lingers in my life that I acquired at young age.
Living in two separate homes was one of the most stressful situations of the separation, especially since they lived almost an hour away from each other. I had to learn how to live in two places at the same time, keeping both parents happy with whatever arrangement they made for me for the week. Throughout high school, I was always stressed about not spending enough time with one parent or the other, but the long commute to school made equality between the homes difficult.
There are many things parents can do to help keep the child’s life as normal as possible while going through this major change in their life. They can try to keep the child out of has much of the process as much as possible. Putting the child in the middle of an argument or letting the child be present during a fight are often the causes of anxiety or depression when it comes to effects of divorce. Another major thing parents can do is talk to the child about the subject and showing them encouraging communication and a good relationship with the parent, this is said to help with your self-image after the separation. Coping skills are very important to teach your child after a big event in their lives, like the separation of parents. Without coping skills, they are more likely to take their emotions out violently and inappropriately. (VeryWellFamily).
Even though divorce is hard on children, having the parents stay together just for the children is not a good route. The rates of behavior problems and mental health problems are even higher for children exposed to the nonstop fighting and anger. In my experience, I would have rather had the separation happen instead of seeing my parents unhappy.
Divorce has effected my life and many other children’s lives in so many ways. It can cause mental health issues, anger issues, behavior problems, among other things. But, just because it can lead to these things, does not mean an unhappy or unfaithful relationship should stay together, just for the sake of their children. The effects of growing up with unhappy parents can be even worse on the child. There is many ways to prevent children from the effects that come with divorce.